Bomb Scares...It Is Not Going to Be That Way and etc.

Today I survived my first lengthy separation from Baby P. I had to attend the 1st of a 4 day trade show.

You want to know something funny? After all the stressing I was doing about milk production, I FINALLY realized LAST night that today would be the longest time apart from Baby P since he was born. Obviously someone was focusing a ton on milk production. Anyways, it didn't freak me out too much to be apart from him--seeing as I was finally able to come up with enough milk so that I could leave for 12 hours. Yea! I guess the dark beer and Fenugreek really helped things out.

There were actually parts of the day where I thought, "hm. This is kind of nice. I only have to care for myself at the moment." Part of caring for myself involved heading to the car around 1130am to pump (something I was pretty intent on doing since the pediatrician was harping on the importance of the frequency). As I neared the parking garage, I saw 2 police officers standing in front of a lot of yellow tape. The entire parking garage was blocked off.

Seeing as I know more about law enforcement than the average lady, I knew immediately that this was a "perimeter enforcement." Perimeter enforcements are super boring for police officers (unless you are like a certain someone and enjoy standing around; I guess it beats chasing after bad guys). They have to stand for several hours in front of yellow tape and answer questions from vexed people like me asking, "when can I return to my car?" "why is this tape here?" "what do you mean, you are conducting a special investigation?" "is it really going to be 45 minutes or are you just saying that?" "can't I just go to my car and get 1 thing?"

Well..those were all questions I wanted to ask...but didn't because I knew secondhand that it stinks to have that job and have to interact with the public in that manner. I surmised that the "special investigation" was code for a bomb scare and I would have to wait 45 minutes until I could get into my car again. I s l o w l y strolled back to my prison cell..I mean, booth and tried to pull myself together. I was already so concerned about how the day would go...this deviation in schedule was NOT appreciated. Besides, I am not with Baby P today so I shouldn't have to worry about my schedule being up-ended. I guess God had different plans for me. I would like to say that handled the whole thing gracefully...but I didn't. I was frustrated and irritated....just another area for improvement I suppose.

Fortunately, when I went back at 1230 all signs of law enforcement and yellow tape had disappeared. I quickly took care of business.

**
Working at the show today was interesting because I had a chance to reflect back on the last summer show I worked (we do one in the Winter and one in the Summer). This time last year, I was only 8 weeks or so along in my pregnancy. I had not told anyone yet and I remember being exhausted at the show. I was nauseous and extremely tired. I recall eating lunch in a secret place I found at the convention center (I will show you sometime) and at one point laying down on the floor (which was kind of gross), bursting into tears because I was so tired and hormonal. I just wanted to go home and sleep.

Thankfully this time I was more of a normal human....just a human with an excessively huge appetite due to nursing. Hey, it take a lot of food to keep a 19 pounder going. I remember coming home from the show last summer and being discouraged because I was SO tired. How am I going to care for a child when I come home from a show if I am this exhausted?

Turns out that it is not as hard as I thought it would be. I was so excited to see Baby P after the long day, that I was actually looking forward to feeding him more than I usually do. I mention this as an encouragement to the pregnant ladies reading this. If you are anything like me, you might be trying to visualize what it will be like living with your new little one. You run through your day, kind of "working in" what it would be like to have a little someone by your side. And then you get discouraged because the baby isn't even out yet and you can't seem to manage to get the simplest things done.

I realized today that those kinds of visions are not realistic if you are using your current energy level as a yardstick. The fact is, making another human is a pretty tiring process. There is nothing like it, and hopefully you are not crazy like me--making assumptions about the future based on how your pregnant body handles a long work day.

I don't know about you, but I definitely have a lot more energy when I don't have another person growing inside me. Of course....I am sure there will be some day when I have to work a show or something and I am pregnant...and then I will have to return home and take care of Baby P....that is a scenario I haven't had the chance to OVERthink yet.

**
If anyone is still reading at this point...another thing I came away with this week was that I am really grateful for my job (not my motherhood job, my other one). I really love it. I love the work that I do. Not many people can say that. I love that I can work from home, I love most of the people that I work with, and I enjoy my job description. Some time away from Baby P was helpful to remind me of how much I enjoy owning my company.

So...as much as I love what I do...I don't love it so much that I enjoy giving up my Saturdays...tomorrow I must trudge back to the convention center. I hope it goes well...